Well, first of all, I have effectively taken a permanent vow of chastity. To whom? Myself? God? Femininity? Womanhood? All of the above?
Third, perhaps only God will see me as a woman. I cannot ask others to see what I cannot see, only feel. Only God can see our feelings.
A nun lives her life in service. For someone like me who experiences such utter joy and pleasure in service, there can be no higher spiritual calling. And while I might serve a fellow human, there is always the suspicion of motive—even when it comes without strings attached. But it is also difficult to serve without agenda. When it is service to God, however, it is a given. And by serving life, God, humanity itself, we create space for everyone.
And finally, divorce has freed me from bondage to a false Goddess and has returned my psychic energy. I am not used to having so much power, so much love, so much energy. As it takes a group of men to wrestle with a fire hose, I am wrestling with my love energy, flailing, thrashing, splashing, and being tossed about.
Only a higher purpose will tame it. Submission is bliss.