Expectations of a sub, expectations of a Domme

These words are paraphrased from posts on Quora.

Expectations of a Sub.

I expect my Domme to respect any lines I’ve drawn. I will not be forced to do anything I haven’t agreed to beforehand.

I do not like being called a slut or whore or bitch. It makes me feel bad because I’ve used those words to torture myself for a very long time. Little boy or anything of the like is fine.

I like being dominated, not treated like trash. I know some people like that but I am not one of those people.

Just because I am submissive in the bedroom doesn’t mean you will dominate me in real life. I’m actually very dominant in real life and I try hard to combat that and make our relationship an equal one. Me trusting you to dominate me in the bedroom is huge because I cannot stand people to run all over me in real life. And I will be very vocal if I think you’re trying to run over me.

Just like we talk about the things we want to do when having sex, my Domme partner needs to talk to me if they have a problem with anything I do or something that is bothering them. I hate it when people keep it bottled up inside and if they want to talk about it then talk about it. I can’t read minds and I don’t take hints very well. Just say it already or wait until you gather your thoughts on it.

And, what might a Domme expect from her sub?

  • Enthusiastic co-operation
  • Continuous improvement
  • Creative contribution
  • Deep trust
  • Long-lasting devotion
  • Attention to detail
  • Sincerity and honesty
  • Authentic vulnerability
  • Receptive sexuality and a willingness to explore
  • Skillful mood management
  • Positive beliefs

At the same time I also expect a submissive to have:

  • Ideas of their own
  • A backbone
  • Hopes and dreams
  • Their own interests and life
  • Their own friends

And if they have all of these things then yes we explore more traditional D/s stuff like…rope play, CNC, and ‘punishments’, etc. But whatever actions we end up exploring aren’t some set-in-stone thing that I have a list of. Instead, they’re an organic expression of the power dynamics and harmony we have together.

The better and faster and more impressively my sub expresses the above traits, the better and faster and more impressively our shared BDSM experience becomes.

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