The uncanny reality of Mistress appearing in my dreams

We may joke and play about D/s being a spiritual journey, but these dreams are real

I am not a sophisticated interpreter of dreams…in fact I know nothing about it.  I do, however, believe in paying attention to them.  They are powerful indicators of subconscious thought.  They may also be a glimpse into the spirit world.  We ignore them to our own loss.

Dreaming happens for everyone most nights–and indeed are essential parts of rest and de-stressing.  In my case, it is only on occasion when they are clear and strong, so strong that I remember them the next morning.  Usually, this comes about when something big and important is happening in my life, and they tend to come in waves, staying with me night after night—sometimes picking up where they left off, or other times something completely new.  They are a bit like a delicious novel that you yearn to go back to. During those days or weeks when many dreams come I look forward to sleep.  It is like being re-united with long-lost friends, getting to play, socialising with spirits and parts of myself that I only rarely see and barely know.

Only once in my life did I have what are known as “vivid dreams”.  These are dreams where you are so aware of dreaming and your presence in the dream, that you are conscious in the dream, and able to take over.  These dreams for me were incredibly energizing, and came in a period of over a month, where I had powerful dreams every night.  It was the summer before going away to University, the summer I lost my virginity, the summer I began to truly explore my femininity with the curiosity and maturity of an enlightened GF.  I was working like crazy to save up some money, my parents were away almost all summer, and I kept the strangest hours, but it was sublime.

Mostly, my dreams have always been benign and happy except for when I was young, and then my dreams were terrors, filling me with such fear that I could only silent scream for “Mommy” to come and save me.  Those vivid dreams I had in the summer of my 18th year were important because in them, I consciously dealt with fears, with issues, with aggressors, and doing so in my dream made me feel powerful during the day.

There was also a period in my mid-teens which lasted for about two years, where every few nights or so I would dream that I was flying, that I could fly.  Mostly it was down dirt roads in forests, with a landscape similar to the Shenandoah Valley or areas along the Appalachian trail–rolling hills and a particular quality to the soil and forest.  No people, no animals, just flight.  I could will my body into the air, and just fly.

This type of dream still comes to me once in a while, and I love them because I feel so hyper-present in my body when it is happening, and that feeling stays with me after I wake up.  It energizes me beyond belief.

My recent explorations of D/s have awakened my dreaming mind as well.  My early Dominatrix-enforced bedtime and regular sleep schedule seems to be creating the ideal conditions for very powerful and lingering dreams.

With one person I was exploring submission to, her persona seemed to creep into my psyche, and I dreamt that I was a circus animal—a caged leopard, pacing back and forth, looking through the bars [at Miss M.] of one of those large cages like you see on the boxes of animal crackers.  Leopard turned out to be her favourite animal.

According to one dream interpretation website: “A leopard stands for fearlessness, obstacles, success, challenges and having an independent attitude. Dreaming of a leopard means that you are going to get some obstacles in your life, but you will conquer them. To dream of a cage represents some area of your life that is restricted, confined, or restrained. You may feel that someone is keeping a short leash on you or that you are lacking the freedom to act independently. Unable to achieve your goals. … An area of your life where you feel imprisoned, captive, or trapped.”

Another time I dreamt that I was in her tea, tea leaves, nourishing her, giving her health as I steeped in her mug.  I could see myself in those dreams, as those animals or plants or objects, but I could not see Her, could only sense Her presence.

The interpretation of tea leaf dreams are also apt, “dreams of tea leaves represent excitement you have about your future. You may be daydreaming about long term goals or feeling good about plans you have. Getting thrills, noticing possibilities that lay ahead for you.”

These metaphors are strikingly apt for where I was at the time.

With Mistress, the dreams have not been about me.  I have seen Her instead, and the dream forms she takes.

She has come to me several times as an owl.  I am wandering in the forest and standing in a moonlit clearing.  There is a cool breeze that wafts through the pines, the oaks, the birch, it is a New England forest.  It smells of autumn, and she is there, flying through the clearing, so close that I can feel the wind made by the passing of her wings, so close that I can see her eyes, deep and dark, darker than the night, endless.

What does it mean to see an owl?  It means to seek wisdom from someone who knows more than you.  How appropriate that Mistress manifests herself in this way to me, as it is from her that I am learning about this world.  Hidden knowledge, intuitive insight, and wisdom. 

From, “owls in dreams represent a deep internal transformation, specifically related to your spiritual evolution…Owls are commonly associated with magic, witchcraft and mysterious esoteric knowledge.  In spiritual symbolism, owls represent these characteristics in your own spiritual progression. They represent the parts of your consciousness that are hidden in plain sight, waiting to be woken up. They bring awareness to the parts of you that are hidden so that you can embrace your spiritual gifts. 

Owls are often symbols that appear when you are going through deep shadow work, especially if they appear in dreams. Shadow work is all about processing the parts of yourself that you have hidden away, most often due to trauma, shame, or fear.”

Mistress, I cannot make this stuff up!  Apparently, an owl flying in your dream means that things are being worked out under the surface, even if I cannot understand them.

In the same forest I wander, and she has come to me as a wolf.  Majestic, with fur framing her face, almost like a mane.  We have spoken about wolves. writes, “Wolf energy can show up in your life when you are learning to trust your intuition and tap into your existence here on earth as a spiritual being. Wolves can appear when you are going through a spiritual awakening, or beginning to develop your psychic gifts.  A wolf is the perfect embodiment of the dichotomies that exist in the physical realm. Wolves can show us that not everything is how it seems to be and to trust the larger plan.  The wolf is a teacher, and it is important to remember that at the heart of each lesson is deep compassion and loyalty, even if that seems misunderstood. You can gain a lot of insight by trusting the message, instead of putting up defenses when emotions get upset.”

I tell Mistress of my dreams and the animals she has appeared to me as.  She knows these two animals, but tells me that there are many more forms that I will see her in.

As for me, I have seen myself with her in two forms, as a fawn and as a bunny rabbit, mostly the latter at night, mostly the former by day.  Curious to figure out why the animal I am when I see her at night is the favourite food of the animal she is appearing as…but when I saw her as wolf, there was no fear, and I felt that I could crawl into her mouth and be carried as she would carry one of her own…so yes, I sense and feel her power, but surrender to her, for nothing else is sweeter than surrender. 

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