Sometimes I look at my penis as an alien appendage. I guess that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise given the theme of this blog!
Being non-binary and heading MTF, I don’t really want it there at all. But I also do know what pleasure it can give to me, and sometimes to others.
When we say “he was thinking with his penis,” which happens often enough, we aren’t being complimentary. First, it might mean doing dumb and irrational things because they turn a man on.
It is in this second area, when he is thinking of how to put his penis in, and to have it stimulated to orgasm–from whichever hole or hand or other surface it comes into contact with. But I am concerned with how penis-driven sex, and let’s face it folks, that’s most sex, is such a let down–how many women fake orgasm or pretend everything was satisfying…how many women know that the male ego is fragile, and that bringing it up might just make things worse? I mean really. Are we kidding?!
Sure, the male orgasm is pleasurable: getting one’s “rocks off” is very fulfilling…But I think that if the penis is the primary way a man goes about achieving this goal, it is also the least satisfying–most definitely for her, but also for him.
Just ask a man who has experienced intense edging or long periods of chastity. This post isn’t about that, but there is a parallel…and when you can’t use it, because it is put out of commission, either physically or mentally, it opens up many other possibiliities. A man in chastity who finally experiences release, whether from a “sissy-gasm” or some other form of stimulation, describes the most intense orgasms of his life. I am not a fan of chastity in my own life, but I do know that many people enjoy it for this reason.
So, I ask all men to try something. See if you can have an orgasm some time without ever letting your penis get involved. Try a full body sensuous play, love experiment with your partner, where all of you and all of her are engaged, two wild animals in a long-lasting caress–biting, kissing, licking, using everything you’ve got other than what’s between your legs to get her off and to maximise your own arousal.
I can assure you that it is possible to thoroughly empty yourself, and to have gut-wrenching orgasms, without ever even touching your johnson.
And women who get to experience sex with a man who doesn’t think with his prick, but thinks instead of what he can do with the rest of his body, how he can please and satisfy her, will also know greater pleasure…and this comes right back like an echo from distant hills…The more open we are to play that doesn’t involve the penis, the more fun we will all have in bed.
Take it from an AMAB whose dream in life is to become a lesbian…the dick is a distraction.
Beyond Non-Binary 
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