Apologies for the link mess below…have been trying to figure out how to fix it.
For now, the charity is Crisis UK, a charity which supports the homeless across the United Kingdom. If you would like to donate directly, please feel free to just do so here.
Over the past year or so, mirroring aspects of my own life and personal journey, I have read and reviewed (or re-read) a number of books which I have reviewed on this site. I thought it would be nice to do a roundup, as they are an interesting, if eclectic, mix.
Some of you will be aware of my interest in charitable giving. I am a firm believer in its importance, and in finding charities that would struggle to survive without outside support. For the past two years, I have focussed my own giving to a transgender suicide prevention charity, to Planned Parenthood, and to Lauren’s Kids, a Florida-based charity focussed on dealing with child sexual abuse.
Giving matters so much to me that the most severe punishment I was ever threatened with by a cherished Dominatrix was that I would not be allowed to give to charity if I didn’t successfully meet goals we had set for me.
Early in my life I gave to charities like WWF and Greenpeace. Whilst I still do give to organisations such as these, and Lord knows they need it, my giving has shifted more to localized issues and the consequences of patriarchy.
There are little ways to harness the energy of charitable giving even through our spending. Amazon, that hated beast and monopolist in the making, offers a program called Smile, which allows you to contribute to charity with every penny spent on their site (they donate 0.5% of your purchases to a charity of your choosing—and offer hundreds to choose from). All you need to do is set it up (you select a charity, and then you simply replace the “www” in the url with “smile” and transact as normal, and funds will be donated to your charity.
It takes just a few minutes. Please make the time, there is no reason not to.
In Europe we don’t have tax credit in the same way as it exists in the US, where charitable giving is actively incentivized. There are other ways, however. But for this reason, and because I had income in the US, I made a single donation to a US organisation whose mission matters to me deeply. It provides support for children coming from broken homes. Keeps them off the streets, helps them find mentors and outlets when they can’t rely on home. Mostly, it helps some of our most vulnerable members of society. I gave $325,000 US to this organisation in which all employees are volunteers, and which has an overall efficiency ratio of 95%, meaning that almost every dollar contributed goes to support the charity itself, and doesn’t go to admin.
This was an amount that dwarfed anything I have even given before and am ever likely to be able to afford to give again. I had not intended it to be this way, but I received more from that gift than I could have imagined. I didn’t do it for the gratitude, but it sure felt great. That this experience took place while my personal life was literally crashing around me was a delicious contrast and provided unexpected spiritual sustenance as I faced the venality of people around me. And I do think there is truth in the admonition to “give when you are feeling low, for there are few things in life which help pull you out of a funk than helping someone else who might be worse off.”
More recently, and far more humbly, I gave my last £300 of credit line to Crisis UK. That is a measure of my straightened circumstances. But as someone who guided me to that particular charity once said, “giving should hurt a little.” And surprisingly, this £300 hurt more than the $325,000, and I also will never get the kind of joyful feedback that I mentioned above…and instead, it will be a pleasure for nobody but me. This kind of giving, where there is never any expectation or hope or even mechanism of return, is the most delicious of all. It landed particularly well on my heart, as I face my own personal homeless crisis.
So, why this post?
The Amazon affiliate program offers a way to monetize internet traffic. I suspect that the amount of money we are talking about from 2,000+ readers/subscribers is going to be minuscule…even less so when considering how many of these people will go on to buy a book from amongst my recommendations. That said, I have decided to set this up, and to give not just every penny earned through this method, but to also match every penny earned and to give this money to charity. So, if you think of buying one of the books I have reviewed here, and will review in the future, please buy it through one of these links, and that way, what Amazon, and what I give, can go towards something more important. Thank you.
| How to be a Girl, by Marlo Mack | A poignant memoir of a mother coming to terms with raising a transgender daughter. So many of the issues trans people face and how their families cope are addressed here. It puts a very personal face on some of the issues which have come to dominate the political trans debate. |
| Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden | A historical novel which traces the life and evolution of a young girl from a poor but idyllic life in a village and a life path that sees her torn from innocence and brought into the world of the geisha, and her quest for self-autonomy. |
| I Hate Men by Pauline Harmange | Women, especially feminists and lesbians, have long been accused of hating men. Our instinct is to deny it at all costs. (After all, women have been burnt at the stake for admitting to less.) But what if mistrusting men, disliking men – and yes, maybe even hating men – is, in fact, a useful response to sexism? What if such a response offers a way out of oppression, a means of resistance? What if it even offers a path to joy, solidarity and sisterhood? In this sparkling essay, as mischievous and provocative as it is urgent and serious, Pauline Harmange interrogates modern attitudes to feminism and makes a rallying cry for women to find a greater love for each other – and themselves. |
| Cheating in a Nutshell, by Wayne and Tamara Mitchell | This book addresses what it feels like to be betrayed by your life partner, and while the topic at hand is marital infidelity, it could just as well apply to other forms of betrayal. A self-help oriented text. |
| The 5 Personality Patterns, by Steven Kessler | This book places in context the stages of our personal development and how childhood coping, trauma, and stress shape our personalities. It is an insightful book that |
| Uniquely Rika, by Ms. Rika | This is the best book I have read on lifestyle D/s. It offers genuine perspective on what dominance and submission are and should be when not just invested with male fantasy. |
| The Broken Wings, by Kahlil Gibran | A beautiful, poignant book written by a master of dream language and poetic description on the topic of love and fate. |
| Salt on our Skin, by Benoîte Groult | A delicious and gently erotic novel about female desire and lust across class and social lines. By a man! |
| The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne | A watershed book on how shame is used to police women’s morality and bodies. Increasingly prescient and timely. By a man! |
| How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days, by Karen Salmonsohn | A tongue in cheek look at how to train a man to be a better partner by applying the lessons of training a dog. |
| The Five Love Languages: the Secret to Love that Lasts, by Dr. Gary Chapman | A seminal book on relationships and love which has become “essential reading” for those wishing to explore these topics and to understand oneself and one’s partner better. |
| Scattered Minds, by Gabor Maté | A life-changing book on ADD. It looks at the underlying causes with a fresh perspective and provides meaningful insights which help to move beyond the consequences of having ADD. |
| Real Service, by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny | A book on protocol and incorporating deep service into our lives in a D/s relationship |
| Conquer Me, by Kacie Cunningham | The book is subtitled “girl-to-girl wisdom about fulfilling your submissive desires.” The concepts described, however, transcend sex and apply to any submissive partner. The book delves into the mind of the submissive in a D/s relationship, and explores the underlying needs and motivations. |
| Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret by Judy Blume | What a wonderful coming-of-age story from the author who has best captured teen girlhood for every American girl, and some of us who longed for that and felt it through these books |
| Siddhartha by Herman Hesse | A ponderous and arrogant book showing male privilege in a breathtaking way served up as accessible Buddhism. Does not pass the test of time, and for that it is of interest. |
| Little Lord Fauntleroy by Frances Hodgson Burnett | This classic children’s tale is more relevant today than at any time since it was written over a century ago. Our need for human decency is all-encompassing and this book serves it up beautifully. |
| Goodbye Christopher Robin | To be fair, this is a movie, but it is a beautiful one. It is a story of the loss of innocence, and how a child is sacrificed on the ego of a parent. It moved me deeply. |
| The Daughter Ship by Boo Trundle | An irreverent human comedy of trauma and triumph, narrated by the concealed inner selves of a woman on the brink. |
| Females by Andrea Long Chu | Females is Andrea Long Chu’s genre-defying investigation into sex and lies, desperate artists and reckless politics, the smothering embrace of gender and the punishing force of desire. |
| Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond | Why did Eurasians conquer, displace, or decimate Native Americans, Australians, and Africans, instead of the reverse? A dismantling of racist theories of human history by revealing the environmental factors responsible for its broadest patterns. |
| Acts of Service by Lillian Fishman | A sexy debut novel which explores women loving women and the relationship dynamic which also involves a man. |
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