Female power is mysterious and seductive and a true pleasure to watch unfold.
It all started when the Domme said, “I can turn you into a foot fetishist,” and then for the first time in my, fed me a foot, hers, and placed me firmly into a subspace in a most unexpected way. In the lead up to this, I had given her a foot massage, something else I had never done before. One of my school friends, a woman with incredible taste and shoes and objectively lovely feet, told me decades ago, “you should be a foot fetishist.”
Well, I’ve spent a lifetime trying to not be a fetishist of anything, and I’ve finally succeeded, so I won’t be giving that up. Don’t get me wrong, doing kinky things is more delicious than ever, but my “fetish” has become connecting emotionally to the person I am with…and whatever it is we do together seems to matter less and less.
Well, this foot experience helped me to understand that a Domme can really enjoy the sensual pleasure that a foot massage represents, and can also really enjoy the feeling of having someone totally under their control.
And as someone who genuinely wants to add value to a Domme’s life, even if it is simply totally confined to session play, learning how to give a good foot massage is just such a way. This behaviour was reinforced when I was “farmed out” from one Domme to another, and not-my-Domme commended me for taking the business of becoming a good foot slave so seriously.
That is how I ended up going to experience reflexology. And boy, did it feel good. Really good. And I realised that what I had been doing up until that point was hopelessly clumsy pawing at the foot. And now, with 10 private lessons under my belt, I begin to know a little bit of what to do, but I suspect that it will take me a year or so to really learn how to do this well.
I have noted just how beautiful my reflexologist is. I have wondered if it helps to be a foot fetishist to actually be a reflexologist. And I certainly wonder if reflexologists meet foot fetishists all the time. During my last reflexology class, however, I came to suspect that my reflexologist wants me at her feet.
Do you know how they say that when you manifest things, they come to pass. It wasn’t and isn’t that I have been manifesting a desire to submit to my reflexologist, or to have her feet in my mouth, but she is up to something.
I went into her office the other day, and this time we sat on either side of her desk. Usually I take my shoes and socks off, she teaches me something, and then I practice on my own feet, and if I am lucky, she then draws on my feet the areas she has taught me.
“I’ve taught you many things. Should we do a recap?”
“Yes, I’ve been meaning to rewrite my notes.”
“Let’s do something practical,” she said taking her shoes and socks off, “I’d like you to show me on my feet.”
If I was drinking something I would have spilled it on myself. I probably blushed. I certainly looked startled.
“Oh, I have so much to review. I don’t want to get it wrong,” I stuttered out. She had a very playful smile on her face. “Okay, next time,” she said, “but be ready. I expect you to show me everything you’ve learned. It will be an exam.”
“Yes, yes, okay,” I said. “I am going to be able to practice with a friend very soon.”
“Okay then, after your friend, you will come back to me, and we will see what you have learned.”
“Yes,” I agreed.
“Good.”
That might have been the matter settled, and I thought we could just settle into our normal session of discussing a bodily issue, fluid retention, PMS, headaches, breast pain and then learn to treat them. These are the things she is teaching me. How to take care of a woman through her feet, hands, and face. But today was different. There was play and mischief in the air.
She got up from her chair and came around to my side of the table before sitting on the desk and placing her foot right on my notebook. I looked up at her. Curious.
“Look at my foot,” she said. I did. She showed me how to wriggle a thumb across the surface in a particular way that I have found pleasurable. “This takes practice. It will come to you with time. Show me.”
I lifted my own foot even though hers was right before me and she was leaning back, almost in defiance.
“Tell me what you remember,” she said, “show me.”
“I remember this one,” I said, showing a technique that she used on me to produce sexual release.
“Tell me you’re not a Sagittarius,” she laughed.
“What?! How did you know?”
“Of all the things I taught you, the first thing you remember is the sexual one?”
“Well,” I said, “it felt really good.”
“I know it does. When you do it to me, you’ll do a good job,” she said stretching her foot towards me.
Everything was a bit cat and mouse that day. And it really got me thinking. The truer we are to ourselves, the more open, the less room for shame there is, the more people receive us as we are.
But it wasn’t just foot fetish-y. It was also D/s. She “shushed” me. There are only three people in my life who have ever “Shushed” me. My mother, ex-Mistress, and now my Reflexologist. These three people have also called me something else which nobody else has ever called me, mainly when I have made them laugh. “Goof.” When someone you are getting to know refers to you with a term that shows they know you, are intimate with you, without being intrusive, you realise that they really are intimate with you, that they are holding you, caring for you, seeing you as you are.
The desire to connect that exists between humans is a fundamental and real spiritual and biological need. I have gone to see a small number of Dominatrices and a bunch of therapists to try to access and free this aspect of myself. I am finally getting somewhere.
My reflexologist and I talked about many things…and I am now openly asking her about how to take care of a woman’s needs through the pressure points and reflex massage methods she is teaching me.
“Anyway, you need to learn these things for yourself,” she says, teaching me about my body. “I’d like you to do this every day,” she said after showing me how to help my kidneys deal with the stress of taking puberty blockers. Same for the points on the feet that help my endocrine system. I am not the first transgender person she has worked with. She told me that her other transgender client, however, feels pain when she massages this particular area, whereas I experience a mild state of ecstasy…her theory was that my body is not fighting the oestrogen at all, but really welcoming it, whereas her other client was finding it painful because testosterone was putting up resistance.
Dear reader, you might consider all of this mumbo jumbo, or snake oil, but it is mind-blowing how much this woman knows about the body and the body systems, and how I know exactly what she is working on when she is working on it…I can feel it straight away.
I had previously told her about my first experience of the full moon as chemically female. This time she went into my monthly cycle, and how to track the changes in my body that will happen with the moon, and what I should be doing with my feet and hands and face during these periods to be able to take care of myself.
I have a crush on her. Maybe she’ll let me take her out to dinner. Her toying with me is delicious.
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