The wonderful world of colonic irrigation and its therapeutic benefits

Not just for constipation…plus if you are going to play back there…

Colon cleansing, also known as colonic irrigation or colonic hydrotherapy, involves flushing the colon with fluids to remove waste. It’s a practice that’s been around since ancient times, and the benefits are based on the premise that digestive waste can be a toxin to the body.

In England, it is discussed in semi-hushed tones with a bit of a nudge and a wink…you know how titillating the Brits can be about anything concerning the bottom…and how surreptitiously kinky we are.

One day my SO and I decided to go and find out what all the fuss was about.  This is not a couples procedure, like a double-massage, so we ended up in separate rooms with separate therapists.

Mine was a middle-aged woman with heavy black glasses and jet black hair, kind of school-teacher-ish, like the cool one you wished you had had.  Everything was all modest and there was plenty of robing to hide any fleshy bits, plenty of clean white towels, a bit of sunlight streaming through the windows (yes, even in London!), and some rather modern looking equipment involving hoses and stainless-steel attachments.

I was directed to lay on my side, and without much ado, up the old dark passage she went.  I was surprised that it didn’t hurt.  Well, maybe not, given what else has been there!

What followed was a remarkably soothing, and quite relaxing experience.  There was plenty of bubbling, and the gentle flow of water in never resulted in any uncomfortable pressure as the ingenious two-way valve would allow for all and sundry to exit quietly.  The water was warm enough, but I must say that I was positively gelid about 30 minutes in.  It was just too cold for me.

My wife was amused, as I often get cold, a fact which Mistress has noted as well, and which became the first protective gesture from Her.  Indeed, my very first task from Mistress, which she noted as such, was to get a blanket from a waiter as I was chilly.  It was the very first time we met.

“I’m going to give you your very first task,” she said with a bit of a smile.  Those words made my heart and tummy do flip-flops.

“Really?” I asked as hopeful as a child getting an ice lolly.

“You are to ask the waiter for a scarf or a blanket.”

And I did, and I kind of imagined that he would bring it back to Her.  Right?  I mean isn’t that usually the way things work?  Me, ever the gentleman, requesting a scarf for this lovely lady I am sitting with…Nope.  He brought it back and handed it to me and said, “hope this warms you up.”

“Is it that obvious?” I asked Mistress.

“You are shivering,” she said.

“You’re not cold?” I asked.

“I never get cold.”  And so, I soon found myself inside the protective and warm cocoon of a nice, heavy blanket.

You know, as I sit her thinking about that, I felt so cherished and cared for by Mistress, and also delighted then and still now that she took charge in that small way.  It felt good. Really good.  It was one of the first important seeds she planted under my skin.  Now there are more than I can count—like I’m becoming a little seedbank for Mistress’s kinky or wilful ideas, and one day I shall sprout from every pore in celebration of all the ways she has inseminated me.

Back to the colonic. My lips were blue.  I told the therapist that I was cold, and she put a nice, big, heavy towel on me, and we kept right on until there was nothing left in me.

Boy, did I feel different after!  For one, I have never felt so empty before in my life—but not in a bad way, in a really clean and powerful way.  I felt totally uncontaminated by anything—food, additives, pollution.  I also felt hydrated to a level that I had never felt before, and that felt good.  Both my SO and I noticed about each other how white our irises were, how glassy and wet our eyes looked, and how plump our skin seemed.

The other thing was that I was absolutely starving.  The therapsit told us that we should go eat something plain and simple and probiotic, like an unsweetened yoghurt, kefir, that sort of thing.  And I wonder, and if any of you out there know the answer to this, please comment—does a colonic affect your gut bacteria?  Does it clean them out too?  Or are they higher up?

I have to say that before and after I had and have done many DIY irrigations, and they were not as pleasant by any stretch, were not as clean, and did not produce the same feeling or results—good, but not great like this.

I came away from the experience thinking that a colonic irrigation is something we should all do on a fairly regular basis.  Once a quarter?  Have you done this?  Let us know your experiences.