I hope I am not kicking the bear. I came across a site which in my mind teeters very close to hate speech so I have hesitated for a while about posting about it and posting a link. The website is a collection of articles and news items highlighting anything anywhere in the world where a trans person has committed a crime. It advocates women’s humanity, which I have only common ground with, but to do so in this way seems horribly misguided.
The site is called “Women are Human” and I am posting here a response I wrote to an editorial post that they wrote. I felt a response was needed particularly as many of the comments on their blog were offensive.
Here is the link to Diana Shaw’s Editorial, “Why it’s Impossible for Women to Compromise with the Transgender Movement.”
My Response
“Thank you for providing a platform for a discussion of this issue that has become very topical even though it affects a tiny proportion of the population. I write this as a non-binary person born male and who will likely never transition, but instead try to cope with dysphoria by being a good human.
No group’s rights should be put above the rights of any other group. Women and girls have very legitimate concerns about violence and discrimination. Most violence and criminality is done by men as shown in your stats. Men are the bulk of the problem.
It does not work for men and trans to work it out between themselves as male violence is real…and trans people have plenty to fear from men. A third space is more likely to protect everyone…for bathrooms…for shelters…for prisons…for places where vulnerable people can be overpowered. Yes it is costly, but it has to be better than ongoing violence against either women or trans–and indeed that is who the majority of victims are.
This debate has become way too political, when what we need is more conversation, more balance, more mutual respect. We don’t need black and white solutions or black and white arguments. Awareness goes a long way to removing hate.
I share your view that women and girls are the number one victims of male violence, and that one of society’s great challenges and priorities is to overcome that. 100%. An independent eye on this site, however, would conclude that trans people are the scourge of the world, are violent, dangerous, nasty people. It is very close to hate speech as it is an echo-box for extreme news. There are bad apples in every box, but violence and criminality is far less likely to be committed by trans people than men.
Helping your readers also understand the difference between trans and men who cross dress, ie separating those who have self-identity issues and need help from those who are fetishists. And there is an enormous difference…and these people have very different motives for what they do and how they are. I don’t judge either.
I was born with dysphoria. I have had it my whole life. I accept that it is a “mental illness” in my case. I spent several years in therapy and learned to accept myself as I am. I became a father and a husband, have had a successful career, but there isn’t a day where I don’t feel pain and confusion about my gender. In my case, I believe it has made me a better man, a more respectful man, a better husband, a better father, a better citizen, a better boss and colleague. Do I wish I had been born female? Yes. More than anything. And for someone without dysphoria it is very hard to understand what it feels like or what we go through. It is painful, all-consuming, because it is about the essence of who we are. In my case it has made me love and support women in every way that I can–by promoting them, mentoring them, supporting them, protecting them, by being a friend. I have come to understand over the years that although dysphoria is painful it is also beautiful. It is a bittersweet life, but that is what makes it so worth living.
Please find more balance in what you represent. Nobody is served by imbalanced writing.”
What Next?
Not sure if they will accept to post my comment, and hopefully I don’t attract haters.
That editorial is incredibly offensive.
A few years back I was interested in volunteering at a women’s crisis shelter, so I started doing training with a local organization. During the training, I discovered that they wouldn’t provide services to trans people. There was a court challenge at one point, and I don’t remember the details, but as a result, anyone volunteering for the organization had to agree to their mission statement, which included a statement about trans women not being women because they haven’t been oppressed by men their whole lives. Um, really now?
I was just reading this thoughtful comment again, and your last sentence really struck me….”a statement about trans women not being women because they haven’t been oppressed by men their whole lives.” What I think about the entire structure of not just Western Society (because it is worse elsewhere) is just how suffocating a patriarchal system is. Male privilege is beyond toxic. Whether it is because of my ADD, my trans nature, or my feelings about submission–or some combination of all of those things (because I am beginning to think they are all sides of one coin)–I feel the intensity of the male superstate in excruciating detail. The casual confidence it breeds gives a sense of hopelessness, at least when it is nasty and out in the open one feels anger and motivation. Everyone single one of us is oppressed by men every day, whether we know it or accept it or not. Thanks for your insightful observation.
Rigid gender stereotypes really don’t do anyone any good. The notion of needing to man up and suppress feelings is incredibly toxic.
It is not only offensive, it is terrifying. Even more so, the entire site is terrifying. Here is a site with 10,000 followers, actively picking up financial donations, is slick, well-organised, and is peddling anti-trans hate speech. I had no idea such things existed. Pretty horrible. Thanks for your comment.